A Million Whining Princesses And Superheros

Yesterday I was shopping on Broadway, waiting in a large crowd to cross Canal (I can’t think of an intersection I like less), and like ten to twenty dudes carrying suitcases bumrush through us, heading west on Canal. A woman behind me was knocked over and her glasses went flying. It took three of us to pick her up.

Today I hit Central Park and The Natural History Museum with Mark. The museum was littered with candy wrappers.

Good News. In three days it will be November 3rd. Phew.

I'll Charge It To My Amex Blue

More shit to add to that long list of things I don’t like, but everyone I know loves. The Snoop "Drop It Like It’s Hot" song. That limp-dicked hook. That tired Neptunes beat with the tongue clicks. I do a funny impression of the song where I say "Drop It Like It’s A Hot Potato" and do a little hot potato dance. It looks kind of like that dance Ashlee Simpson did on Saturday Night Live.

The Secret Of My Success

The season premiere of "The Swan" is tonight. I guess one person’s nightmare of waking up and not recognizing themselves in the mirror is another person’s dream come true! It just started and the hostess said "ugly ducklings." I have to go.

Language Hang-Ups

I downloaded Garfield: The Movie, but it’s in French. Whenever Garfield addresses John, he says “John John.”

Animals will subject themselves to great humiliation for food. The other night on Leno I saw a sea lion pretend to be a seal. If I ever need anything balanced on a sea lion’s nose, it would only cost me three or four fish.